The 6 Greatest War Heroes Who Got Screwed Out of History

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Whoa now. Can’t have this guy in battle scarred Nazi held Paris.

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Pictures of Auschwitz don’t really belong on a comedy site. Here’s Teddy Roosevelt riding a moose instead.

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Richard “Demo Dick” Marcinko started his career just as badass as he left it. A Navy teletype operator in Italy, he made several requests to transfer cheap jordan sneakers to UDT (Underwater Demolitions Training) but was repeatedly denied. So he used the “Br’er Rabbit” method and simply punched someone in the face, for which he was naturally punished by being sent to UDT.

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Ironically, Red cheap nike shoes Cell was so good at what it was being paid to do that it embarrassed the shit out of a military that, as it turns out, couldn’t cope at all against it. And Marcinko took his job dead seriously, kidnapping high ranking personnel and even their families, “mildly torturing” them to get nuclear codes and wound up kidnapping one admiral twice.

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Furlong casually recounts that his first shot missed because his trigger finger pulled slightly to one side, probably moving the gun barrel a distance of one atom to the left.

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They’re Canadians. Because the rest of the world have cemented Canada’s reputation as polite, peace loving people, rather than a country cheap jordans shoes made up of super snipers that shoot enemy soldiers a mile and a half away, it’s only natural that Perry and Furlong would fall victim to political correctness.

Perry’s cheap jordans in china mistake was, one day, unwrapping a Tootsie Roll and joking that it was a severed finger from one of the bodies lying around. Upon getting wind of his admittedly bad taste throwaway line, the Canadian military brass dedicated the following few years to finding out whether Perry and his colleagues really were walking around battlefields, cutting off body parts and wrapping them up like Tootsie Rolls. It didn’t help that someone else on the squad left behind a sign saying “fuck terrorism” probably not a controversial sentiment, but it fuelled the speculation that Perry and his team were out of control rogue corpse disfiguring Tootsie Roll cannibals.

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The charges against Perry were eventually dropped due to lack of evidence, but not before they were all pressured out of the military and their names dragged through the mud to the extent that they never received the respect they deserved. Because seriously one and a half miles.